Dealing with depression - How to deal with a depressed person part II

Step 3. Provide support, information and hope

Being there for someone is a great help. People with depression or anxiety also like to receive practical help. A tidy dish (washer), clean laundry that is folded back in the cupboard, a refrigerator without moldy food, a polished toilet and so on.

But that does not solve the psychological problems. You can offer information for this. Point the other to websites where he or she can find information, test themselves, read tips, watch videos of fellow sufferers, et cetera. 

There are also autobiographical books in which people tell how they overcame or learned to deal with their psychological problems. That can give recognition and hope: important, because hope is needed to take action.

 

Step 4. Seek help for help

If you don't think the other person can work it out on his own, it doesn't hurt to contact a professional counselor. He or she can estimate how serious the situation is and what kind of help is best. Not everyone with psychological problems is easy to get to a care provider.

If you think it is necessary, it might be an idea to use someone's "physical" symptoms to accept outside help. For example, if the person in question told you that he would like to sleep well again, or would like to 'switch off' the anxiety in his head without causing a hangover or a relapse, you can suggest that you check with the doctor to talk about.

If the other person likes you to go, then you can come along. You can also suggest that you make the appointment for that person. If all of this is going a little too quickly, point out telephone helplines or anonymous online help, for anxiety, worry, depression and suicidal thoughts.

 

Step 5. Tie a social safety net

Everyone needs other people around them with whom he or she can connect. Look together with the other to see what the options are. Perhaps family ties can be strengthened, are there friends he or she can confide in, neighbors can play a role, or a peer support group?

What else your own role will be depends mainly on what relationship you already had with the other. Your best friend will most likely remain your best friend. But your co-worker doesn't have to be your best friend.

You have helped in need and you are emphatically not a care provider yourself; you provided first aid. Perhaps this is the most difficult: guarding your own boundaries. As a first aid worker, you should therefore also pay close attention to yourself when dealing with psychological problems.

 

Asking for help is difficult

Every year about 1 in 5 people develop one or more mental illnesses. More than 4 in 10 get this issue at some point in their life.

Anxiety, mood disorders, and alcohol and drug addiction are each about equally common. Men more often have an alcohol or drug addiction, women more often have anxiety and mood problems. Despite these numbers, mental health problems are poorly recognized and there are many prejudices about people who have them.

People with mental health problems almost never withdraw into themselves because they have no contact

because they feel scared and ashamed and think they should solve their problems themselves. They often muddle along alone for too long, which can make their problems worse.

 

What to do in case of danger

In these cases, there is no time at all to follow the 5 steps and you should act immediately:

If someone has seriously injured themselves or is talking about elaborate suicide plans, seek professional help. It is a misunderstanding that you should respect that. Tell the affected person that you will seek help.

Call 911 immediately in case of an acute, serious crisis, ie if someone is confused, disoriented or about to commit suicide. Or if someone is short of breath and collapses as white as a skin: this could indicate a heart attack or panic attack.

In these acute situations, try to keep in touch in a calm voice, calm and respectful, even when you are angry or shocked. Do not leave the other person alone and make sure you yourself are safe. You can ask a confused person if he has a 'Crisis card', a card from the mental health care that states what can and does not help them, and which contact persons you can call.